It’s been years, YEARS, since I wrote on here. I decided the last time I made an entry, all the way back in 2012, that I would re-find the passion from previous seasons and get back into the groove of writing. And then I fell off the wagon. I left my keyboard somewhere in storage, along with the part of my heart that had anything to say.
Fast-forward almost three years, and I’m newly married. Life is vastly different. That person that used to write in this blog is completely changed. But also a better version of who I was as well. The maturity of someone in their 30’s means a better balance to life and a maturity that has been developed into something deeper.
Fairly soon after that last entry, I started a ladies only, single ladies only, bible study with a focus on intentionality. Bringing a foundation of approaching life in a few areas, with an intentional focus of how to grow, live, lead, and love the place you are at. We covered career, family, friends, emotional aspects. Our group of Left Hand Ladies focused on growing and living a Godly life. We cried together. We ate far too much chocolate. And for two years we developed a deep, lasting friendship group.
Then as seasons go, it ended last year. I’d intended to lead that group for two years. And for two years I did. It was the right amount of time for that season. But it was tough going. I learned a lot about myself. And faced a trying time developing better leadership skills.
As much I loved that group, by the time it was over I was emotionally drained. And ready to drop everything. And drop everything I did. I knew I couldn’t keep my head in all the roles I was leading. I could tell that this time was the time to step back from everything, absolutely everything. And I felt guilty.
I prayed to God, asking him to give me permission to take this time out. I’d had a lot of commitments and I felt like I would be letting many people down if I just stepped back. But I knew I had zero capacity to lead well. And thankfully God wasn’t putting the pressure on me to work through it. He knows my heart, and knew what I needed to do.
Stepping back was good. Peaceful. And God filled it with plenty of time to renew my energy. And plenty of time to read and re-fill myself. I didn’t expect to be so changed as I am.
During this re-charge time God connected me to a man, who would become my husband. In that time from June to April, life changed in leaps and bounds.
And now I’m back. Renewed, refreshed, and looking to the future of this path.
Resurrection is looking good.